I Don’t Love Her – Matthew 22:34-40

One of life’s sweetest blessings is when my grandchildren holler “GRAN – MAAAAA!” and come running to greet me. They haven’t knocked me down yet, but their exuberance is certainly felt. One Sunday after church, however, I wasn’t too happy about my grandson’s behavior.

brothers loving. lonnieBradley .freeImages

He’d been playing near the bleachers at the back of the gym, and I caught him making a mean, ugly face to a little girl. Appalled, I drew him aside. “Jackson, why did you do that?”

With his innocent dark eyes peering deep into mine he simply explained, “I do not love her.”

While I appreciated his openness, in my mind I pulled out my grandma to-do list and added, Teach grandchildren what Jesus said about love.

What Jesus said

My grandchildren’s greetings prove they know I love them and find me easy to love back. But what if loving isn’t always so easy?

Jesus said,“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:34-40 NIV).

The fact that we were commanded to love God inherently shows that it doesn’t come naturally, we get to choose to love him. Thirty-nine years ago my husband pursued a relationship with me, and I chose to respond. Love grew from our choices.

Doing love

I used to think it sounded arrogant for God to say, “You must love me,” and yet, because he is the Creator and Love itself, it’s perfectly reasonable. Without love, we’re nothing (see 1 John 4:8 and 1 Corinthians 13).

My grandson has gained more experience in practicing love—not only as a brother to his siblings, but now as an older foster brother to a rambunctious little guy. Like all of us, he’s learning that love involves challenges, and that’s OK. Without having to work at it, our love would only be an expression of feelings that come and go like the wind.

We need to remember demonstrating love doesn’t always bring immediate happiness, but its rewards are worth the investment. And ultimately, loving others helps us understand God’s enduring love for us. We can all be a little challenging sometimes, don’t you think?

Don’t ask my husband.

by Kathy Davis

By Kathy Sheldon Davis

Kathy Sheldon Davis, contributing author of the books "Jesus Talked to Me Today" and "Seeking His Presence," and a finalist for the Oregon Christian Writers Cascade award, lives with her husband, Jerry, in Junction City, Oregon. Kathy enjoys mentoring and editing for other writers, making strangers into friends, and celebrating holidays with her extended family. She has also written for Warner Press since 2016 and posts devotions on her blog at kathysheldondavis.com .

2 comments

  1. Kathy, how beautiful! I want to be like that for my friends and family. And for those I don’t feel a real affinity for! Yesterday my 2-year-old grandson was super-aggressive: pushing and kicking. He even kicked my daughter in the face. Hm. My challenge was to provide a steady correction. I was angry, but I told him I loved him, and that he needed to be safe, and his kicking was not ok. I’m so glad God does that for me in my marriage! Christ is my anchor. He takes me aside and tells me I’m loved, and that my actions need to shape up, so my home can be a safe place. Why is it that we are the most unloving when we need love the most?

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